“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake.”
- Francis Bacon

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Do what ya gotta do when ya gotta do it cuz life is worth living! A public service announcement...

Well, today, here it is, the dreaded one day of the year when I voluntarily eat no food. To add insult to injury, I have to take laxatives in the afternoon so I can spend the next 10-12 hours blowing out my colon so my doctor can have a little peek-a-boo in the darkest of my dark places tomorrow morning.

I hate this, I honestly and truly hate this procedure. Well, not the procedure but the prep the night before. I just hate it. How much do I hate it? About three months before my yearly lookie-see I begin to dread that little letter that will come in the mail from Dr. Rechner. I keep hoping that her staff will forget me or the mailman will be sick that day or my mailbox will blow away (fat chance that will happen, it's built into my door). They don't and it doesn't and the letter arrives. I open it with one eye closed thinking that maybe it was meant for someone else...but it's not. It has my name on it...sigh.

OK, I still have some time, I tell myself and do the best I can to not think about what is gonna happen...colon blow to the max! No food (other than delightful liquids and things that used to be liquids), drinking icky-poopie tasting laxative-laden Gatorade, no sleep cuz I'm sitting on the toilet until five in the morning and then, no water the following day until after that little camera makes it all the way up to my tonsils snapping pictures a mile a minute and taking samples of my dark interior - a little like mining for precious minerals at the center of the earth - or, possibly coal mining, I can't decide☺

About a week before my happy day, I get really crabby. Crabby about each and every thing that crosses my path. There is nothing that can make me smile because in the back of my mind I know what is looming in my future and I HATE IT. I HONESTLY AND TRULY AND 100% HATE IT. I don't like depriving myself of food. I don't like drinking what should be flushed down the toilet so I can produce what is flushed down the toilet. I don't like not having anything to drink in the morning after I brush my teeth. I don't like being thirsty! I HATE EACH AND EVERY LITTLE NUANCE ABOUT THIS PROCEDURE!

This morning the big prep day is here and I can't avoid it. I'll drink that crap (sorry about the pun) and I'll spend all evening and night and part of tomorrow morning blowing out each and every little teeny, tiny speck of anything that went into my system since I was cuddled in my mother's womb. Tomorrow morning I'll brush my teeth (don't swallow any water or the goblins will get me) and I'll march into the hospital for my annual poopie-roto-rooter.

After it's all over, I'll wake up in my room and will ask for applesauce and a diet Coke - the same request every year. And then, well, and then I'll settle back and smile. I'll know that I did one of the most important things a person can do for their health and their life and for their family.

I get my yearly mammogram like clockwork and now I am of the age where the "lookie see" is on my agenda, too. Do I like both of these procedures? Heck NO. Do I have them done? Heck YES! I do them so I will live long enough to watch my grandchildren graduate from high school, so I can dance at their weddings, so I don't have to lay in a hospital bed with my children watching me die a miserable death...all because I was too chicken or too lazy to do what was necessary to avoid two of the most treatable cancers - if caught early - and that's the key, folks - IF CAUGHT EARLY.

So, if you've been putting off your yearly boobie squash or don't want to blow out your colon so a camera can take a photo where the sun doesn't shine, GET UP FROM YOUR COMPUTER AND CALL YOUR DOCTOR. The life you save WILL be your own!


susan said...

Mimi--This truly is a PSA! I really need to schedule my first one but am terrified. If you and Katie Couric can do it, I guess I can too. Good luck and thanks again for your candid thoughts and gentle persuasion! p.s. I loved hearing "A Summer Place". I saw this at the drive in with my parents (think I was supposed to be asleep:)--I was spellbound by Troy Donahue and Sandra Dee--thanks for bringing back a fond memory!

Prim Rose Hill said...

Hi Mimi,
I am still laughing! Oh you are a hoot! I am fortunate that I haven't have my first one yet, but my husband complains about the prep too! I have to have mammograms every 6 months on one boob and that's bad enough! I hate it, but I want to live a long time! Thanks for the reminders and laugh this morning too!

T said...

Oh Mimi, you are an inspiration! As much of a real pain this is, you are doing this for yourself and all those close to you!!


Lynn said...

Been there.
Done that.

Lisa said...

Good for you! Sorry you don't get to eat though! Hope all goes well!
Hugs, Lisa

Lori said...

Oh Mimi! I hear ya loud and clear! No silly not on the toilet!LOL But about the slime tasting, pond scum prep! Well have to talk, cause my doc gave me some secrets to make it a little easier and I think it helps! I'll tell you I just had my first in Dec. 2008 but had to do nasty preps for kidney tests and for something else. The worst was the C-diff I have post surgery after my disc operation last July, I was you know running to the potty for 11 weeks even if I had a graham cracker I went! But luckily they found a drug to heal me! Thanks for the very important public service announcement! Catching colon/rectal cancer early is crucial! I lost my dear sweet mom to this cancer in 2005! Take care and eat hardy! Lori

Tracey said...

Hi Mimi,
I hope all goes well for you :)

RobinfromCA said...

I'm hearin' you sister! I've had to have one of those miserable invasions every year for the past 11 years. I started 10 years before everyone else has to because of family history (2 grandpas and my dad). Two years ago, however, my stomach rebelled against the drink-the-liquid-junk stuff and I was sicker than sick from more than just the end that was supposed to be "cleansing." That was it! Last year I told my doctor it was the pills or nothing! Let me tell ya - I added half a day to my fast (just to make sure) and those pills worked like a charm. I was hungry but I was not nauseated at all! I highly recommend the pills over the liquid draino routine. I will never be able to even stand the smell of ginger ale again. BUT, as you say, EVERYBODY should have this test regularly and on time. Nobody should ever die from this type of cancer. We all want a cure for cancer but as we also know, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Early detection through mammograms and colonoscopy procedures are our ounce of protection. This is a great remidner!

Diane @ Four Paws and Co said...

I hope all went well Mimi! My HMO doesn't do the roto-rooter first. They send out a little check the poo tester. If it's suspicious, then the roto-rooter is the next step. I'm very happy with their first step...

Steve has had the roto-rooter, before they changed their practices, but they didn't put him under - poor guy! He had to stop the car periodically on that long ride home too.

☺♥☺ Diane

Shopgirl said...

Mimi, You told this so well, I have done this and I know what you are talking about. I never can drink all that yukie stuff, I feel like at any moment I will throw it up...I just got my card from Dr. C, she is ready to take a peek, peek my butt, it's the whole show!
Clean as a baby, I too walk in and am so glad when it is over...hungry and ready to start over again.
What we go through to stay health...
Hugs, Mary

Anonymous said...

An excellent reminder! And I couldn't agree more. I guess there are just things we don't like doing that really are beneficial to us.

Prevention is always the best cure :-)

(oh, and I didn't mean to help you spend your money away on those cups LoL I just have to laugh when I read what you said. Then again, I know you very much love pink so it'll be a worth purchase then? :-) )


Bellamere Cottage said...

HILARIOUS.............and, I just have ONE question.....the yummy beverage they happily give you???? Why is called GO-LIGHTLY????